How to get my parents to stop being so aragont and annoying?

My mother and step father are so annoying but mainly my mother. She goes on and on and on, if I ask her a simple question she says "DON'T START!!!" I can't even start a conversation with her without her going on at me about hoovering my room, taking my washing down or being late like once in a month, even if I've already done these things. Lately she has been really annoying, you can't contradict anything she says and when she gets up off the sofa after watching come dine with me or Causalty for like 3 hours she goes on at me and my step father over titchy things that don't matter for ages, until about an hour later when she calms down and expects us all to be happy. She's really arrogant and often uses the phrase "who the hell do you think you are?" to this I normally just go "arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh" in a low growl sort of thing or I go mental and say "I'm a velocoraptor he he heee" in a silly voice with a daft face. This is because she is so bloody annoying. First thing in the morning she shouts "PHEOBEEEEEE it's eight o clock, are you up yet!! get out of bed now you lazy cow" even when it's like six thirty and expects me to be nice and giddy and probably bake a cake full of rainbows for breakfast. I want her to stop being so up her own bottom, how should I go about this?